


The Void You Left in My Heart

by SkylarUnicorn



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: Break Up, Emotional Hurt, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-09
Updated: 2016-03-09
Packaged: 2018-05-25 18:41:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6206203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkylarUnicorn/pseuds/SkylarUnicorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tommy suffers after a breakup with Adam. I'm bad at summaries, just read.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Void You Left in My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> This might contain a lot of mistakes, but as I'm a very impatient person I wanted to post it quickly XD if you find any, please tell me in the comments and I'll fix them later.
> 
> Also, I will update The Power of Mind as soon as I can, but right now I'm loaded with schoolwork :/

It was a sunny Friday morning, Tommy could still remember, and he didn't have much to do. He had just auditioned for some band he didn't even want to play with just because he needed money. They said they'd call him, but he knew already he was not going to get that job; the band's music was trash, and judging by their faces, they had a similar opinion about the way he played. He was walking around aimlessly, wondering if it was too early for a drink, when his phone rang. To his surprise it was one of the guys he sometimes went out for beer with, who was calling to tell him about the audition someone called Adam Lambert was having for his band just then a few blocks from where Tommy was. For all he knew, that Lambert could be equally bad as the band he had just auditioned for, but something was telling him to try. What did he have to lose? He needed money, the worst thing that could happen was that he would just be rejected, in which case he'd be in exactly the same situation he was in already.

He ran to the building where the audition was held. When he burst through the door, the first person he saw was... Adam. The memory still alive in his mind, he could almost feel what he felt then, when he first laid eyes on the most gorgeous man he had ever seen in his life. He froze at the entrance and stood there, speechless, until the man asked him if he was there to audition.

From that moment on, it was like magic – he became friends with Adam almost instantly, like it was meant to be, like the universe brought them together. They spent a lot of time with each other, talked on the phone almost every day for hours, sometimes late into the night, about everything and nothing, everyday things and their deepest secrets. Soon they became a couple and Tommy was the happiest man in the world. He might have had this little voice at the back of his head, telling him it wouldn't last, but he dismissed it as nonsense. After all, there was no reason for them not to work; everything between them was perfect.

Later things became worse, but Tommy was still hoping they could be fixed. He tried over and over again, convincing Adam to give him just one more chance, just try this, just one more time... but soon he realized that the reason they were not working was not that either of them was doing something wrong, the reason was that they were in very different places in life, Adam famous all over the world and Tommy feeling like a mere shadow, always in the background. He didn't want to accept it, but the fact was that when their relationship began, their situation was similar enough for them to connect, and later that changed drastically.

The end wasn't exactly a surprise for Tommy; they had talked about it before, he had seen it coming for months, and yet it still hurt like hell. Even though Adam tried to make it as easy on him as possible, Tommy still felt like he was dying. He hardly ever cried, but when the door closed after Adam, he broke down and burst into tears. He didn't want to believe it was over, it couldn't be, it shouldn't be; and yet even as his heart was breaking, deep inside he knew it was better for both of them.

The first few days were the worst. He cried for hours, walked around his apartment, dazed like someone had hit him, couldn't eat anything or find anything to take his mind off what had happened. It wasn't the first time he had a broken heart, he knew it would get better eventually, but it didn't feel that way then.

A month had passed, and Tommy still couldn't make it stop hurting. It was like he was going through different stages of grief all at once; one minute he felt like everything was okay, but then he'd see or hear something that reminded him of Adam or what happened would just hit him for no good reason and he'd have to fight back tears, he'd think that it can't be over, surely Adam will be back, then he'd tell himself that maybe if he only did this... and everything reminded him of what he had lost. Their relationship had been relatively short, they didn't even make it to the second anniversary, but in that time Adam changed his life forever. Every single thing was influenced by him, from the music Tommy listened to and movies that he watched to the way he saw the world, his personality. It was the worst when he woke up in the morning and looked around to see if Adam was already up; then he'd remember everything between them was over and the agony came back. Keeping busy helped him a little, but most of the time the pain was still unbearable.

He couldn't quite comprehend why or how the sun could still rise every morning, the noise in the streets was the same, people smiled and laughed like always, because his world ended when Adam left. Adam, who was absolutely beautiful inside and out, the person he loved the most in the whole world. This breakup was worse than any he had ever been through because Adam had been not only his boyfriend, but also his closest friend. Tommy had always been a loner, but Adam somehow found a way to make him open up. When people were broken up with, the thing to do was talk to friends, spend time with them, talk to them about your feelings, but the problem was the only person he had been close enough to for that was gone. He ripped out a part of Tommy's heart out of his chest and left.

Tommy knew ending the relationship was the right thing to do, for both of them, not only for Adam, who was the one to say it. Adam used to make Tommy a better person, but lately he felt like the relationship was holding him back somehow, he couldn't quite put a finger on how, but it felt like it was preventing him from growing as a person. That didn't make it hurt any less though; Tommy still couldn't accept the fact that the most wonderful person he knew is gone from his life, and gone forever. He'd most probably never get to talk to him again, never hear him sing just for Tommy, never go to a club with him, never get to be there when important things in Adam's life happen... it made him want to cry, scream, or anything to just make it stop hurting, to just get Adam back, to just make everything between them okay.

He suddenly felt angry at Adam. Their relationship might have ended, but why did he have to unfriend him and stop following him on twitter for the whole world to see? Did he think Tommy was an idiot and would keep writing him messages, asking him to come back? No, Tommy knew that was not true. Adam probably did it to make it easier on Tommy and maybe himself also, and getting angry was just a part of getting over their relationship, but it still hurt. This was something people did when the relationship ends because someone cheated or hurt the other person in some other terrible way, and nothing like that happened with them. Now it was like not only their relationship was over, but like they had never met in the first place. Adam had completely thrown Tommy out of his life.

He could feel it in himself, the beginnings of a new person he would become in the future, in some inexplicable way freed by the end of that relationship. One day he'd be able to look at Adam performing on TV or at his picture on a billboard and smile without the tears welling up in his eyes. He would come out of it stronger and as a better person, he knew it. He would fall in love again, he would experience many wonderful things in life. The pain would pass, eventually. The void in his heart would be filled and the wound inside would heal. It would just take time. A lot of time.


End file.
